I’m thirsty.
And I’m expecting a phone call this afternoon that I can’t afford to miss, but my water bottle is empty.
Normally, that wouldn’t be an issue – five quick steps to something cold and refreshing.
1) Stand up from desk, stick phone in pocket.
2) Trot down steps, pass through living room and kitchen and grab a water from fridge
3) Reverse path.
Time elapsed: 45 seconds
HOWEVER, summer had other plans for me and now, I have to decide if a drink is worth it. The steps just to get a drink are a little bit different today.
1) Tuck phone inside bra (I know, I know, but I can’t afford it break it in my pocket)
2) Grab crutches, clear the path around my desk of dogs, tote bags and crumpled papers that I threw AT the trash but missed
3) Crutch over to the stool in the hall at the top of the stairs and sit.
4) Tie crutches together with a plastic sack (trust me, this little step is worth the effort, in case one or more crutch decides to make a break for freedom on these same stairs that landed me in Summer of Cast)
5) Ease down into steps, place crutches as far down on steps as I can reach
6) Bump down three or four steps at a time, on my butt, moving crutches as I go.
7) Untie crutches, use bannister as a chin up bar and stand up
8) Say “Squirrel!” loudly, to send the dogs outside so I can crutch over to the kitchen without them in my path
9) Slide up onto my tall stool that is situated between the sink and fridge
10) Grab a water from the fridge, place it in the plastic sack tied onto crutch
11) Crutch it back over to the stairs, reverse process with bag and crutches, this time using my arms to crab-crawl UP the stairs.
12) Use bannister to pull up to the stool – teetering over the brink of the stairs because my upstairs hall is teeny-tiny.
13) Crutch back over to the desk, retrieve phone and water, then return to work.
Time elapsed: 14 minutes.
At least the water is still somewhat cold. And I’m thankful my phone didn’t ring during the trip!
Oh great. Now I have to pee…
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