My dogs have a love/hate relationship with that squirrel, barking and howling at him for hours each day as he hops from tree to tree in our yard.
Maybe it isn't just one squirrel, maybe it is a whole gang of them.
(We go on a brief hiatus here as I look up what to call a bunch of squirrels, which turns out to be a "scurry"). Of course, here in Texas, you might argue that you can call them a "mess", as in "I'm gonna cook up a mess of squirrels tonight 'cause them's good eatin'."
This story only involves one squirrel. He has been my adversary all morning as I try to move from room to room while on conference calls, trying to block out the barking. At one point I ended up sequestered in the downstairs half bath for 20 minutes and had to stuff a towel under the door to finally drown out the ear-splitting squeal my Cojack dog, Wrigley, lets out every time he spies the squirrel outside the window. After the call, I stomp outside to see if I can quiet my crazy two-pack of dogs (too few to really call a pack, but too loud to call just a pair). I find them near the back fence, behind the air conditioner, clawing away at the back gate.
That dang varmint was clinging onto the wall above the fence by the bedroom window, chittering away. I don't know why this particular squirrel isn't too scared of my dogs. He hovers on the lowest limbs, just out of reach, or spreads out to take a nap on branches just outside of my living and dining room windows. As usual, the dogs were going batshit crazy. I think the neighbors hate us.
I picked up a few pieces of bark from below the tree and chunked them at him. Of course, they barely made it over the fence (no major league pitching arms in this family). So I tried a small rock and it came closer, but I worried about the bedroom window - my aim is as bad as my distance. He tsk-tsk-tsked me (whatever that little sound is) and kept flicking his tail at the dogs.
So I picked up the hose near the gate and turned on the water. I sprayed him good, too. He scampered up the wall and clung to the molding above the window, really jabbering away at me. I backed off on the spray since the window and wall were quite wet now, and I and figured he'd have to get down as it got too slippery. He made a desperate attempt to get on the roof, swinging by one claw and scraping for purchase with the other. I've seen moves like that on American Ninja Warrior recently. I have to give him credit for really making an effort - so much effort that I started feeling sorry for him.
And then he fell. From underneath our second story roofline.
I heard a splat. And then I heard nothing.
Oh, man. I didn't think that through, did I? I could just hear the conversation with my husband as I tell him I'm rushing a squirrel to the vet because I tried to kill it and I didn't do a good enough job, so now I'll try to save it.
Instead I just turned around to go into the house and noticed it was weirdly quiet in the backyard.
The dogs have finally stopped barking.
update 9/16/15: squirrel appears to be just fine and is back to jabbering outside my window