Looks like a good day to try out an impulse buy I found in Target last weekend (shopping while hungry never turns out well). So I popped an organic, Fair-Trade certified Toaster Pastry (come on, y’all, this is a Pop Tart) into the toaster. http://us.naturespath.com/product/frosted-cherry-pomegranate-toaster-pastries.
Somehow, the word organic makes it seem like a sensible and nutritious breakfast. I made a second cup of coffee while waiting for it to heat up.
Maybe the organic ingredients made it cook quicker? Within a minute, I could smell it starting to burn, so I hit the ”eject” button and grabbed for the tart before it could start smoking.
Instead of the traditional frosting pictured on the box, this lovely, natural pop tart had a brown sugar-like substance on the top, which caramelized into a bubbling schmear of lava, fresh out of the volcano. A tiny patch of it adhered onto the pad of my index and middle finger as I tried to pinch it out of the toaster.
I flung the toaster pastry (POP TART) onto my napkin and did a little ouch-y dance right there in the middle of my kitchen. I had to run water over the sugar to get it off my fingers. After an ice cube cut down on the redness and pain, I resumed making my coffee and took the toaster pastry back outside to finish my breakfast in the peace and quiet of my tiny backyard.
Other than a leaf drifting into my steaming cup of coffee, the dogs and I enjoyed a peaceful ten minutes of Earth Day before my email started erupting with tasks. I give the organic pop tarts a 6.5 on the taste scale, but I did have to deduct points for it not being labeled as a hazardous food product.
CAUTION: CONTENTS MAY BE HOT AND CAUSE PAINFUL BURNS WHEN GRABBED DIRECTLY FROM A RED HOT TOASTER. DID YOUR MOTHER TEACH YOU NOTHING?