TAMTALKS

Navigating through this midlife journey and trying to retain my sense of humor.

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Earth Day Story

4/22/2016

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In celebration of Earth Day 2016, I decided to enjoy a small breakfast out in the backyard on this beautiful spring day in Texas. What to eat in honor of earth’s bountiful harvest?

Looks like a good day to try out an impulse buy I found in Target last weekend (shopping while hungry never turns out well). So I popped an organic, Fair-Trade certified Toaster Pastry (come on, y’all, this is a Pop Tart) into the toaster. http://us.naturespath.com/product/frosted-cherry-pomegranate-toaster-pastries.

Somehow, the word organic makes it seem like a sensible and nutritious breakfast. I made a second cup of coffee while waiting for it to heat up.
 
Maybe the organic ingredients made it cook quicker? Within a minute, I could smell it starting to burn, so I hit the ”eject” button and grabbed for the tart before it could start smoking.

Big mistake.

Instead of the traditional frosting pictured on the box, this lovely, natural pop tart had a brown sugar-like substance on the top, which caramelized into a bubbling schmear of lava, fresh out of the volcano. A tiny patch of it adhered onto the pad of my index and middle finger as I tried to pinch it out of the toaster.
 
I flung the toaster pastry (POP TART) onto my napkin and did a little ouch-y dance right there in the middle of my kitchen. I had to run water over the sugar to get it off my fingers. After an ice cube cut down on the redness and pain, I resumed making my coffee and took the toaster pastry back outside to finish my breakfast in the peace and quiet of my tiny backyard.
 
Other than a leaf drifting into my steaming cup of coffee, the dogs and I enjoyed a peaceful ten minutes of Earth Day before my email started erupting with tasks. I give the organic pop tarts a 6.5 on the taste scale, but I did have to deduct points for it not being labeled as a hazardous food product.
 
CAUTION: CONTENTS MAY BE HOT AND CAUSE PAINFUL BURNS WHEN GRABBED DIRECTLY FROM A RED HOT TOASTER. DID YOUR MOTHER TEACH YOU NOTHING?

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    Unabashed redhead learning how to reinvent herself to keep up in this world. How in the world did you find me here? As long as you dropped by, you might as well stay awhile.  

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